Dear Pamit,
Be sure that I really enjoyed talking to Raman, this young gay man aged 23 who had the courage to make the decision of living India to live his dream of freedom. Rejected by the whole of his family, he set out in search of another life in Toulouse, courageous enough to face the adversity of a culture a thousand miles from his own, not to mention the financial challenges !
During our correspondence, Raman was most often respectful and attentive, even though sometimes his accusatory allusions and this kind of cold indifference which characterizes you so much betrayed him...
Sometimes, Pamit regained the upper hand and, like an elephant in a China shop, risked making petty remarks he only had the secret for. Remarks that, without having known you for ages, I recognized among a thousand. Telling the truth, you have never been very subtle, even if your sense of irony amused me, showing an interesting part of yourself.
You know, intuition is like a good wine. Over time, it matures. Here, it won't have deceived me. My third eye gains even more vigilance in contact with perverse beings.
Pervert, oh yes, you are. Curious about what I could do, and throwing here and there some ironic allusion whose meaning you thought you were the only one to understand. For what purpose did you do this, the nature of your intentions... All of this will remain quite mysterious after all. We will never know exactly what's going on in the head of a psychopath, but ultimately, isn't all manipulation aimed at one and only thing, feeling accepted by others, or at least less rejected ? I dare to hope that through this game of cat and mouse via messages, Raman was not completely faked.
I wanted to see how far you could go in this lie, in the creation of this artificial character, and I wasn't disappointed with the journey ! However, we can't say that you were overflowing with imagination either. I will always remember that nasal accent that you took on the phone, exactly the same one that you had at your place in my presence... Not to mention that ridiculous laugh with which you punctuated your sentences.
Of course you didn't know it, but you came across someone who is passionate about human psychology and who can't help but carry out human experiments whenever possible...
There are beings who will never allow themselves to show the slightest emotion which isn't hidden behind a mask of indifference or contempt. But perhaps this heart of ice, in this exchange of which I have never been fooled, will have been able, for the space of a few moments stolen from life, stolen from your life, to warm up.
Your former playing partner,
Alice